One of my first cars was a Chevy. A large 8 cylinder 1972 caprice with over 150K miles that carted me around during my ‘long hair’ days. Back then I did all my own work on my car. One time in particular, the more I worked on it the worse things went. Undeterred, I continued forward, replacing this and that only to find myself with a pile of “spare” parts and a frustrated attitude. After replacing most of the car, I finally gave up and brought in a professional. Within minutes he had the car purring like a kitten for about half the cost of my replaced parts. A minor cost and ten-minute fix. If only I had known.  At least all the new parts looked good.

I have always felt that diagnostics is 90% of fixing anything. From cars to people we often neglect to see clearly the things about ourselves that lie at the source of our problems. We become content with managing symptoms and endless activity as a substitute for dealing with issues below the surface. The expression “The lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client” points to our inability to see ourselves clearly and our need for outside help and an honest appraisal.

I think it is telling, even prophetic, that the first question God ever asked of man was, “Where are you?” In the garden God calls out to Adam, who is cowering for fear after his failure. “Where are you?” I assure you that Adam’s location was not a mystery to God; rather it was hidden from Adam’s own view of himself. In the ensuing conversation God uses the dialogue to help Adam see the unhealthy fear Adam had towards God, who loved him. This fear of God becomes a wedge between Adam and the source of his healing and happiness.

I am one of those guys who would be content driving lost for hours before asking directions. The heart of the problem is not that I do not know where I want to go or even that I do not know the directions. The problem is, somewhere I lost track of where I was and now am completely confused as to where I am.  If, for example, I wanted to drive to Manchester, NH and believed I was on Hampton Beach, I could begin by getting the directions and methodically planning out the trip down to the ‘potty breaks’ for the kids. But when I start the car and drive into the Pacific Ocean, I realize my starting point was not Hampton Beach at all, but somewhere with a 90210 Zip code. The first task of every GPS system is to find its own location.  Every journey requires knowledge of where we are in order to succeed. It is the Pacific Oceans of our lives that help us understand that we are not where we thought we were. Our disappointments and pain in life, weather physical, mental or emotional, can often be God’s gift. Pain in life can be God’s alarm, helping us wake up to where we really are.

For example, say I have another one of my migraine headaches. I could choose to take aspirin, lots of aspirin, cases of aspirin.   As long as I focus on the symptom, the pain, I will be distracted from its source. If I use the pain as a signpost (diagnostics) I might find life-saving knowledge of a growing tumor. Aspirins are good, but not as an end in themselves. Our pain can be, should be, a means to a greater end, the signposts leading toward a deeper, more permanent healing. Self medication (aspirin) to control symptoms (headache) can often be a gradual downward slope of dependency.  The further you travel, the harder to get off.

Another example: say the headaches are due to stress, anxiety, resentment, envy or frustration in the workplace or a loss of work altogether. Or maybe it’s at home, a lack of intimacy in marriage, money, rebuilding after divorce or empty nest, feeling alone and disconnected, lost or left behind. Maybe a death has left you feeling bitter, life’s fun only a memory. Is there an aspirin that can cure that headache?  Where do they sell that? Well, they don’t…. at least not at Walmart.

The healing to life’s most painful sources is in relationship. Whether you call a professional like I did with the Chevy or you talk to a trusted friend, whether at work or at home, at church or in the bar, to talk about it begins the healing process. What’s the worst that can happen? You stop the car, walk into the 7 eleven and ask for directions. The teller thinks, “This guy has no idea where he is,” and he is correct. Why are we so afraid of judgment from others? Better to drop the pretense and pride and get back on the road. One of our greatest mentors, the late Fred Rogers, said, “If it is mentionable, it is manageable.” What a true saying. If it can be spoken, the healing can begin.

Others can help us see what we cannot about ourselves. Jesus spoke emphatically numerous times that it is the secret things, the ones hidden from view, that torture us internally. Find someone, pay someone, but for the love of Christ, talk about it. There are few things more destructive in a person’s life than something that can not be discussed. As we explain it, we diminish its power over us.

I have always found prayer and my relationship with God to be a deepest source of consolation. I am not talking about church, but rather a deep personal confidence in His companionship here and now and throughout life. However, God alone is not enough. In the Bible it is clear that there are no lone rangers. God intended that He would work through others on our behalf, bringing us trusted friends and professionals with whom we can share, unafraid of judgment or gossip. Such friends are hard to come by but with God’s help and our willingness, He can lead us to them and them to us.

As I go about my day, it amazes me how much pain we have learned to tolerate and hide. We are a society of professional symptom managers. Knowing the source of these symptoms is the beginning of defeating them. We defeat them by bringing them out into the light of day and allowing God to help us exercise them through trusted relationships. Diagnostics is 90% of fixing anything, especially people. I believe that God continues to call out to us as He did with Adam with the same question: “Where are you?”

Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Matthew 11:28